House of Cards

I was watching the Netflix series House of Cards over the weekend and one of the characters said something that resonated with me so much I couldn't get it out of my head. I had to go back and re-watch the episode again last night. She was talking to her (soon to be) boyfriend and she said she had to get out of her apartment because it "felt too small" - when he said his place was even smaller she said this:

"It's not that. I feel trapped. It's like I'm trapped in a place I don't live"

I feel that in my very bones. I moved here willingly, even though the location wasn't my choice...when things didn't work out according to plan - I had to make a new plan. I did the best - the very best I could - to make a bad situation better...and I did. It is so much better than it was and I am beyond grateful. But still unsettled in my bones, in my skin, in my heart.

I wrote a blog piece a couple of week's ago about living in the "in-between" - which is where I feel I am now. Could I go back to Florida where I thought I was so happy? I'm sure I could - I know I could...because I can do anything I set my mind to - but was that happiness even real - was any of it real? Or is where I am now real?

And so here I sit - trapped in a place I don't really live. Can't go back, yet can't seem to move forward. I need to figure out a way to get "untrapped" or "start living" - I do know that life is way too short to live in the in-between...

Some deep thoughts for your Tuesday morning...so, where do you live?