Happy Birthday to Me!

So today is my birthday and I wanted to share with a gift I received some years ago from my sister Lynne…

When we were kids, we weren’t poor, but we weren’t rich either. We had everything we needed, and quite a few things that we wanted, but we weren’t spoiled. There were no random trips to Toys R Us just for fun. You got new clothes at the beginning of the school year. You were guaranteed a new coloring book and crayons when your aunt took a trip to John’s Bargain Store in Brooklyn, and if you were ill, you got to pick the breakfast cereal that week. That’s about it.

But birthdays were different. On your birthday, you were special. Everyone treated you really nice, you got a special breakfast or dinner – and there was always cake and presents. We had a close family, so there were always a bunch of relatives sitting around the table singing “Happy Birthday to You. “ Yep, it was nice.

I was a young woman when my mother passed away – just 22 years old. My sister, Lynne, took over the celebrations and always made sure my birthday was special. Although we lived in neighboring states, I think we still spent more time together than apart, and when she gave birth to my nephew just a week before my birthday, celebrations were even more special.

Then we moved some serious miles away – I moved out West and she moved South. I was alone on my birthday and left to my own devices. Even when I moved back East, she was down South and because of work, it was usually out of the question for me to get to see her in October when the holidays were so close. I was seeing someone then, and was kind of counting on him to make my birthday special. He didn’t. When my birthdays started to turn out like every other day, I started getting depressed.

On one particular birthday, after being disappointed (again) by this guy I was seeing, my sister gave me this lesson. She told me that it was MY birthday. A celebration of the day that I was born. I don’t NEED anyone else to make it special, because it’s all about ME. She told me the story of a mutual friend who was a bit older than I who celebrates her birthday like a little kid. She tells everyone she runs into “Hey – Today it’s my birthday!” She’ll go out to lunch and get the free soda or dessert. She’ll tell the crossing guards when she picks her kids up from school and the cashier at the supermarket. She makes her own sunshine. My sister told me that I should make my own sunshine – and I’ve been doing it ever since.

I don’t need a parent or a sibling or certainly a boyfriend to make my birthday special. It’s MY day. I do what I want. Some days, I take off from work and celebrate by getting a mani/pedi or doing some shopping. Other times, I’d rather spend the day at work, because it’s fun to be there, but I know that the choice is always mine. I don’t need anyone to make me a cake. If I want a cake, I buy a little one and have it when I get home. I celebrate myself.

So on my birthday, I hope this is a gift that I am sharing with you. You are enough. You are special. It’s great if you have people to share a special day with, but if you don’t, it doesn’t make the day less special. The day is special because you are!

Until next time,

xo Jamie Lee xo

#gohappyyourself