4 Things to Consider When Choosing Who to Spend the Holidays With
- Ilene Adams
- Dec 5, 2017
- 3 min read
The holidays are undoubtedly a time when you want to spend as many hours as possible doing fun things and creating memories with those you love most. It’s also the topic that causes a lot of stress around this time of year.
As a kid, you probably became accustomed to the holidays being all about family. Our holidays were filled with aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents – it was so much fun. You didn’t have to worry about who you would spend your holidays with – that was all worked out by your parents. As we grow older though, our relationships change as well. We make friends and have significant others or even spouses to consider.
On one hand, you’re torn because you want to spend the holidays with your family that has been your tradition, but you also now have this other part of your life where you want to spend the time with as well.
So how do you choose?
Consider these aspects when trying to decide
Meaning of the season. In order to decide who to spend your holidays with, it’s important to first consider the meaning of the season for you. Is it about sharing gifts and time with loved ones? Or is it about going out and having a blast on an exciting holiday vacation?
One thing is for sure – it’s definitely about the memories, so you need to determine which set of memories you would treasure most.
Splitting the time. It also makes sense to consider whether splitting time between family and friends is doable during the holidays. For example, you could spend the days leading up to Christmas with your friends, but the holiday itself would be with family. If you’re traveling back home to see your family and that’s where your good friends are – perhaps you can schedule a night or two out with them before returning home.
Alternating years. A good option that would allow you to avoid choosing between family and friends is to alternate between both groups. One year, you make the commitment to dedicate the season to family. Let them know that the next year you’ll be spending the holidays with your friends. Tell your friends about your plans as well, so that no one feels left out. This is also a great alternative with in-laws…especially where extensive travel may be involved.
Mixing family and friends. Can your holiday events be arranged to include both family and friends? Instead of say a morning hike with your friends and holiday shopping with your cousins – what about planning an event that all could participate in, say going to a winter carnival/festival or getting in a bunch of cars and going to see the neighborhood with the best decorations – finishing it off with a hot cocoa? Or host the holiday at your home.
Make sure that what you suggest as other activities and events accommodates most of your loved ones/friends interests.
Get the best of both worlds: suggest to your family that you all spend the holidays together – away from home. Perhaps you can start a new tradition with both your family and friends to share a vacation rental somewhere for a week at Christmas – or possibly a cruise somewhere. You can all create new memories for everybody to hold dear for years to come.
One way to get out of having to make the decision of where to go is to host the holiday at your home. If hosting the entire dinner is too stressful, how about an Open House and serve food buffet style? Friends and family can pop in throughout the day, leaving you more time to visit with each one. I had a friend in Brooklyn years ago that did that – she made big trays of food put on a table with sternos to keep them warm and people came and went through the day and night. It was super crazy and loud with all those people, but they are some of my favorite memories!
You don’t necessarily have to spend the holidays with only one set of special people. With careful consideration and planning, you can split your time among all of the people who matter most so you’re a part of everybody’s holiday memories – and they’re a part of yours!
Happy Holidays!,
xo Jamie Lee xo
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